is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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