so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
