Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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