So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize