OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
