my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
