dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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