from now on my penis is your penis
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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