I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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