So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
