I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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