I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
pray to the hookup gods
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
