Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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