I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
