Little spoons don't ask big questions
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
