drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize