I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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