Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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