so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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