I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
