Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
