she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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