you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
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Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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