We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
