I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
