I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
