He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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