Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
