Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
