Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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