I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
