i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize