Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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