I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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