He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?