i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
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My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.