There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.