Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I could make wine with my vomit
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.