goodnight i made you a song goodbye
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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