you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize