Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
