I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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