the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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