I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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