there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
