Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
