dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
