he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
