I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
...so i touched it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
