I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
