He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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