Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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