Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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