Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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