coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
