Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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