You're completely useless in the revolution.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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