but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
