Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will pee on everything he values.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize