I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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