hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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